Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Cyber-Bullying

Last week, we found out Jack had been the victim of a cyber-bully.
I hear about these things all the time on the media, yet it was still a shock that this happened to one of my kids. 
This cyber-bully started an Instagram account with Jacks photo and set up a vulgar profile with a link to a porn website.
Jack was devastated.
We were in shock that someone would do this.
Jack is popular at his school and has many friends.
We immediately contacted Instagram to have the site removed and we emailed the school principal.
It took almost a week,  but the bully finally came forward.  

Jeff and I discussed at great length in how we wanted to handle this.  Did we want to have the police step in? Did we want to sit down with this boy and his family and give them a piece of our mind?
After talking it over and discussing it with Jack, we decided that grace and forgiveness is what we want to extend to this boy and his family.
It's obviously devastating for us, but we know it's devastating for this other family as well.
This particular kid set up this IG account thinking it was funny, he either did not care or had no idea of the consequences of his actions.

Shortly after moving here to Spokane, we had an situation where Jack had made some bad choices (name calling and rock throwing) to a boy in our neighborhood. He apologized for his actions, yet the boy and his family wouldn't accept it, wouldn't let it go, instead they branded him "bully" and slandered Jack to others in the neighborhood and the school.
This families actions caused distress for Jack and our family for months.. 
I have vowed, I will never do that to any family!  
We want our kids to learn holding on to resentment and anger towards others, only hurts you. 
In my own experiences over 42 years, I know just how un-healthy this can be.
We told Jack he needs to forgive this boy and let it go, even though it's hard,  it's the right thing to do.  He of course listened and agreed, but we didn't really know if he was going to be able to.

Today we received an email from the principal describing what happened in his office when the cyber-bully apologized to Jack.  He said Jack made eye contact with this boy the entire time then he read the boys apology letter.  Jack said, "I accept your apology and I forgive you." 
The principal said it was a moment he wished could have been video taped to show others.
He said that Jack showed amazing grace and forgiveness.
When I read the email this morning, I started to cry... 
everyday I feel like I'm making a million mistakes and screwing it up, today I got a reminder I'm doing something right!  
I'm SO proud of my son!  
Jack you are amazing!


*Just a side note.. the boy involved with this incident is facing consequences and our school is using this as a teachable moment for the rest of it's students. *




2 comments:

Tiffany said...

A story we can all learn from as parents....you showed so much grace. Although a difficult situation what an ending. Kudos!

Tiffany

Anonymous said...

PROUD of all of you. Everyone will learn a positive from something negative.